Thank you for your interest in this passion project!
I want to start by telling you a little bit about where I came up with this dream. I have been on my own fertility journey for much longer than I expected. When I first started trying to conceive, I expected this journey to be a beautiful timely experience but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. There have been many heartbreaks, some small victories, and even a few life changing decisions. While I have had the support of my partner for much of this, I spent many, many months feeling very alone.
After months of keeping my fertility journey private, my emotions got the best of me and I shared what I was going through with a friend. Her response was incredibly compassionate. She then shared that she recently went through her own difficult decision to ensure she would not have children anytime soon. It surprised both of us to learn that we had not been sharing these incredibly emotional experiences. Her story and choices were so different than mine but the sense of loss and aloneness was the same. We were there for each other in a way we both desperately needed.
Months later while I was in a stage of waiting for tests results I went to a local book store. I wanted to read about the stories of other women going through this process. I wanted to not feel so alone. I looked everywhere and was astounded to find nothing. There were stories about parenting, stories about ways to try and get pregnant, but almost nothing on that very uncomfortable time of trying to get pregnant.
My dream is to compile these stories into a book that can be used to educate and bring solace to others as they navigate their own fertility journeys.
Thank you for your interest in this passion project!
I want to start by telling you a little bit about where I came up with this dream. I have been on my own fertility journey for much longer than I expected. When I first started trying to conceive, I expected this journey to be a beautiful timely experience but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. There have been many heartbreaks, some small victories, and even a few life changing decisions. While I have had the support of my partner for much of this, I spent many, many months feeling very alone.
After months of keeping my fertility journey private, my emotions got the best of me and I shared what I was going through with a friend. Her response was incredibly compassionate. She then shared that she recently went through her own difficult decision to ensure she would not have children anytime soon. It surprised both of us to learn that we had not been sharing these incredibly emotional experiences. Her story and choices were so different than mine but the sense of loss and aloneness was the same. We were there for each other in a way we both desperately needed.
Months later while I was in a stage of waiting for tests results I went to a local book store. I wanted to read about the stories of other women going through this process. I wanted to not feel so alone. I looked everywhere and was astounded to find nothing. There were stories about parenting, stories about ways to try and get pregnant, but almost nothing on that very uncomfortable time of trying to get pregnant.
My dream is to compile these stories into a book that can be used to educate and bring solace to others as they navigate their own fertility journeys.
Story Excerpt
"
... Once I knew I was moving forward with my sperm donor, I wanted a clean slate in my dating life. I had been casually dating a few people, and I was honest with them. I said, “We can’t date anymore—I’m having a baby.” I was surprised that a couple of them didn’t understand why that meant we had to stop seeing each other. To me, it was simple: if any of them were the guy, I wouldn’t be going on this journey alone—I would have given the relationship more time.
I was pretty set on not dating during this process. For starters, you can’t fully trust your feelings when you’re pregnant. I was a very happy pregnant woman, and there was a one hundred percent chance I would have fallen in love with someone. But I had chosen to do this alone, and I didn’t want to cloud any part of it. I also knew that if I started a relationship and went through a breakup while pregnant, part of my pregnancy could be overshadowed by sadness, stress, or the presence of someone who might not be in my life long-term. I didn’t want to risk that.
- Anonymous
What to Expect
My hope for our first meeting is to create a safe space for you to share your fertility journey in a way that feels empowering and authentic to you. I want to assure you that all stories that are shared, will be done so anonymously. I will only share what you want me to share and the rest will remain confidential.
With your permission, I will record the conversation just so I am not preoccupied with taking notes. I hope this allows the conversation to flow and feel more natural. This recording will be used for when I transcribe the story but it will never be shared with anyone.
I want to hear your story as you want to tell it. If any part of our conversation feels uncomfortable or you need a break, please feel free to tell me. I aim to approach our time together with no expectations.
Story Excerpt
"
...We were trying for over year. We had sex every single day and nothing happened. I had started internalizing it and thinking there’s something wrong with me that’s causing us not to get pregnant. I felt like it was my punishment, my karma for having the abortion when I was younger.
A year of trying taught me a lot about myself and our relationship changed. It felt like there was this unsaid sense of us being indebted to each other. Like we owed each other this family because of what happened so early in our relationship. Our marriage eventually dissolved, for a lot of reasons. Not just because of this fertility issue, that was just the cherry on top.
Two years later I was in another relationship and just one month after going off birth control I ended up getting pregnant. That’s when it immediately clicked for me - it wasn’t a fertility issue that I had, it was most likely from my now ex-husband and likely from his marijuana use.
I was putting a lot of blame on myself for no reason. It was a huge relief.
- Anonymous
Resources
I have been working on turning my own story into something shareable and it has been a very healing experience. However, at times it has brought up old wounds. If you find this to be true for you, I have listed some resources that you may find helpful:
Darcy Fritz
LCSW, Qualified Supervisor, Certified Prepare & Enrich Facilitator and extensively trained in EMDR, medical social work, grief, chronic illness, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
Victoria L. Henry
Counselor, QS, MS, LMHC
Paulina Blecker
MS, LMHC, RYT-200
I have been working on turning my own story into something shareable and it has been a very healing experience. However, at times it has brought up old wounds. If you find this to be true for you, I have listed some resources that you may find helpful:
Darcy Fritz
LCSW, Qualified Supervisor, Certified Prepare & Enrich Facilitator and extensively trained in EMDR, medical social work, grief, chronic illness, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
Victoria L. Henry
Counselor, QS, MS, LMHC
Paulina Blecker
MS, LMHC, RYT-200
